Sunday, March 25, 2012

Bringing a little piece of 1982 into the world. I'm so happy when I was growing up, songs like this happened.

Lady Gaga has NOTHIN' on Toni Basil.

Or Nena! The song that taught me Captain Kirk in German is Captain Kirk.

Or TOTO! Well... you know. It was there. And it's AWESOME.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

I sort of want to craft my life to resemble an 80s sitcom.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Also, after the week from hell I find watching stuff about ghosts and haunted places and paranormal activity very soothing and relaxing. So apparently, I am comforted by things that are actually from Hell. I can live with that. After all...


see this creepy open tomb-thing in this creeptastic old cemetery? One sunny day I pulled over to the side of the road, walked over, and climbed in. I HAD TO. It was just an empty old space, it didn't have any dead people in it. ;p It was still one of the most cool creepy places I've ever been and, I kinda like to think, proof that I'm awesome and have no fear when it comes to really neat stuff. I might be afraid of mean people but I CLIMBED BETWEEN THOSE RUSTY METAL BARS AND RIGHT INTO THAT MUSTY OLD TOMB, WITH A SMILE. WEARING FLIP FLOPS.

The world can never take that moment from me. It's mine. So whenever I start feeling sad I'm gonna think of that and feel better. Yes... the creepy tomb. OF JOY.

*I did not take this photo! I wish I had though, it's wicked!
Okay that's it, I'm putting this past week behind me forever. No more of this. Back to funnish posts next week when the mean fog has cleared.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

I have had the last couple days from HELL. This world can just be unbelievably mean! Do not want. :(

And I'm out of Twilight movies. :( Dear god, did I really just say that? I NEED HELP! I need to restore sanity and... me-ness after this unfortunate interlude. Mean people cannot be allowed into my life. They completely screw up my equilibrium. I need some kind of sign to keep them out. Beware of dog... this area protected by armed guards... maybe I need an armed guard dog. That'll show 'em what for. (It might also be slightly adorable, in a "aw isn't he cute, he wants to kill us" kind of way.)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

That's it, I am done selling on ebay. I'm sorry, but people suck. I say in my listing to pay within 48 hours... buyer goes OVER A WEEK without paying and a week without responding to my communication... and somehow it's MY fault for opening a non paying bidder report. I'm "impatient." LOL. I feel sorry for her boyfriend already if she has one. Everything will be his fault, ever. "I didn't take two hours to get ready and make us late, you're just impatient!"

*stabbity stab stab*

Chalk another one up to Catcher in the Rye. People are always ruining things for you. But they're what make things good, too. Sometimes.

Man it's been a rough couple days. I am watching one of the twilight movies. Yeah... that twilight. DON'T JUDGE ME OK. That crap is oddly comforting when you're feeling non-dealy with the world. I know it sucks, but like a warm blanket of suck. A big hot bowl of chicken noodle suck.

CURSE YOU ESTROGEN! Or whatever is responsible for my current state of watching a sparkly vampire cavorting on a tropical island and somehow nodding and feeling less sad instead of COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS like I should feel. Okay, I'm done ranting now. ;p I am also on my last twilight movie, next up will be the last season of Supernatural, which will also be comforting in a non-suck way.

I could really go for some fresh steaming T&T right now though. You named your kid WHAT? BRAYDEN? THAT'S NOT A NAME, THAT'S A COUNTY IN FLORIDA! HAHA, I LAUGH AND FEEL SUPERIOR!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

On a less ragey note...

Hold on to the things you love. Hold them tight. Hold on to those things that you recognize as a part of yourself. If you have them, don't ever forget them. Keep them as close as your breath. If they're unrealized, make them reality.

I think a happy person is a collection of parts of things they love, always. Not just material things or even loved ones, but ideas, images, facets. Things that make you feel right and fill you with peace when you look at them. Those things can always be with you. They are you. When you feel doubt, don't give in. Fight back by remembering what you truly love, even if it only pleases or makes sense to you. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks if you're happy.

For me? One image is being in a kitchen, wearing a beautiful apron and cooking up something yummy. Some kind of comfort food, like stew. The kitchen smells wonderful and I'm smiling. I go there and I feel right with my soul. I also feel right with my soul when I think about traveling and adventuring, especially the roads less taken. There are so many things like this, little things that are important to your sense of self in this crazy world of action!

So this is what I'm trying to learn. My own kind of self-therapy. Based on being yourself, in the most literal sense, essence, instead of trying to comform to what some manual says is normal. The key to happiness really, really does lie within you, and what you take and enjoy from what's around you. Celebrate those things with a quiet noise. Don't ever stop, or let someone convince you it's silly and unimportant.
There is a special place in hell reserved for people who bid on ebay and don't freaking pay!!

In this hell they have to sell an item, the SAME item, over and over again to a different deadbeat bidder, and it's NEVER paid for, just an endless cycle of waiting, making non-paying bidder reports, waiting more, relisting, MORE WAITING, and repeat. Like a modern day Sisyphus. (And yes, they have to do all of this while climbing up a very steep hill.)



And sellers can't even leave negative feedback! Well I am leaving you 10,000 negative feedbacks in my mind, missy! How do ya like them apples??

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Awesome quote on a youtube video about an abandoned spot in New Jersey:

"Great video! I live near the Jersey shore, there's nothing abandoned here :/"

Haha, I'm sure you wish there was... Finally someone who appreciates urban decay over cultural decay. :P

Also, I want to be a ghosthunter. I have absolutely NO FEAR. Except of people who might try to control me, or judge me, or be giant jerkfaces. But ghosts? Heck yeah, I wanna see one! Though with my luck I'd meet a giant jerkface ghost. ;p
I actually feel much better having written that. I thought I wouldn't, but I do. There's a difference, I guess, between wanting to be positive and refusing to be ashamed. I won't be ashamed of who I am. I can be badass with SA. I am badass with SA. Sometimes bad things will happen but I'm still me. I don't own it any less or have any less right to be awesome.
I'm happy to report the disposable-camera-windmill-photo came out acceptable. It's not gonna win any contests and there's a pesky fence covering the bottom, but it suits my purposes. I'm a firm believer in being awesome with what you have. If you don't, you're gonna miss out on a lot. So once I'm ready to approach the experience more positively, I'll do some uploadin'.

Basically what upset me was: I felt pretty awesome and badass on that day. I had my little camera and my explore-y cargo skirt. Then I saw cops coming. Knowing I was trespassing and me being avoidant and all, I tried to beat it out of there before anything happened. Well my ninja skills failed. Apparently my home of childhood wholesome fun is now some sort of drug den. And because of my SA/avoidant crap, I was actually momentarily mistaken for a drug person. ME. I am like the most straight anti-drug person out there, I just have a disorder I can't do anything about. :/ And I'm thinking... I'm wearing Hollister! I have a blog! I'm normal...ish! I even dropped the word "blog" to explain my photo-taking because people who come to abandoned mini golf courses to score drugs DO NOT HAVE BLOGS. OR FREAKIN HOLLISTER LEATHER FLIP FLOPS. Those things are expensive considering they're FREAKIN FLIP FLOPS. (but they're cute. wibble.)

But I digress.

I eagerly gave them my bag to search so my status as a (mostly) law-abiding* American as well as my personal well-being could be restored PRONTO. I explained I was exploring a beloved childhood memory and taking photos. It was cool and that was that. BUT. It almost wasn't cool, not because I was really doing anything that wrong (they understood about the photos) but because my stupid SA betrayed me. Once again. It made me very much not-badass for the rest of the day. I doubt I'll ever quite feel badass again, no matter how many pockets my cargo skirt might have. Even if I have a really cool camera. I kinda feel like I betrayed myself, my own image of who I am, and that's the worst. It's more sacred than other peoples' image of you.

So once that feeling subsides, I'll post the photo. Maybe one day I'll be able to look at it as the badge it was supposed to be. I did get it after all... I was brave... I suppose that's something.

*well, I was trespassing. But that place will always belong to my childhood, dammit! Stupid drugs ruin everything. Drugs and traffic. Man I want to move to the country so bad. Not the kind of country where meth people live, the real country. Where people ride horses and bake pies with apples they picked themselves and swing from a tire into a river with a funny name. Yes, I want to live in an Alan Jackson song. Apparently.

Friday, March 09, 2012

Hello boys and girls, today I'm going to talk to you about swearing. Now if you read this journal you'll see some; I am especially fond of saying things like "fuckery" and "fuckbasket" and "clusterfuck." I am not going to stop saying these things. But I read something one of my new heroes, Adam the Woo (of awesome explorerdom) wrote about excessive swearing and it just CLICKED.

It seems people swear a lot when they don't know what else to say. Especially if they fancy themselves funny, have run out of clever, and are trying to get a laugh. Not only does this mentality cut back on family-friendly entertainment, it's just really really stupid. Yet another thing that panders to the ol' Lowest Common Denominator (which is, sadly, quite common).

In the 80s, you hardly ever heard f-bombs etc in popular entertainment. I mean, it was out there in stuff geared towards mature audiences, but it wasn't so OUT THERE. EVERYWHERE. AND FOR NO BLEEPING REASON. That's the part that just drives me nuts, swearing to replace actual content. I've prolly done that here several times over the years, more in the guise of a rant than trying to be witty, but still. I'm gonna keep the stuff I love like "name fuckery" but I am cleaning up my act even more than I already have. I'm gonna be a mom in a year or so. I'm a wholesome gal of the 80s. Entertainment does NOT need swearing. It really, really doesn't. Swearing is good for letting off steam or driving home a point hard. There was a time it could be used for comic effect but I think those days have passed. When it's used for a cheap laugh or a part of speech like a conjunction (I swear some of these people say "fuck" like you'd say "and"), it loses all meaning. It detracts from actual wit. It desensitizes. It just... feels wrong.

Well... that had obviously been on my mind for a while lol. There's not much more awesome than seeing something you've been thinking put into words by someone else, especially someone you respect. So we'll just call this "fuck fuckery," and move on. :)

Sunday, March 04, 2012

Something happened during my "adventure" today that left me feeling... not right. Unsettled. Since I don't write negative things here anymore, all I will say is this.

I am me, and I make no apologies for it. To anyone.
Sooo my first "real" intrepid foray into urban exploring (with my intrepid disposable camera) was not exactly a success. Mainly due to the location being in a much more unsavory area than I remembered it being in. It's a shame too, because it looked really cool. I managed to take a couple shots from a distance before I was chased away, one of the iconic WINDMILL. I pray to the deity of disposable cameras (and failing that, the deity of abandoned miniature golf courses) that it at least comes out, or it was a complete washout.

Am I giving up? Hell no. I'm sad my first endeavor was mostly FAIL though. :/ I'm trying to just savor the awesomeness of the WINDMILL and shoot the rest into space with the bits of old telescopes and space junk.

Otherwise, it was a fantastic day at the Redondo Pier and El Segundo. Entry with rad disposable camera shots to come, once I get them developed. I would like a nice camera btw, especially a digital one. I just don't want to have to talk about it all the time. ;p

Saturday, March 03, 2012

I went here today, to the Old Trapper's Lodge at Pierce College. It was AMAZING. I am so full of things to say about this I am almost speechless. It's like, everything I love tucked away in one little hidden grove. In the Valley of all places; a little oasis of Americana among the strip malls. I took some photos with my disposable camera. I'm not expecting miracles, but hopefully they'll at least somewhat do my memories and enthusiasm for this place justice. Maybe one or two will be blog worthy... I hope.

Being there, I felt like it was made just for me to enjoy. There aren't too many things like that around today. No, no there aren't. I savor them to the fullest when I find them. Everything that made America America is slowly disappearing... no, not quite yet. Not if the OLD TRAPPER and his pals BIG BEAR and LONESOME GEORGE have anything to say about it!

Woo there is one youtube video of it. only one, that's how hidden this sucker is!