Wednesday, November 20, 2013

During my latest inevitable, seasonal depression-induced bout of 80s nostalgia, I remembered another really bad 80s song. While it definitely belongs on my list I'm glad it wasn't at the forefront of my mind, as that would likely be a precursor to some unfortunate medical condition. The song is "Rock On," sung by possibly the least rockin' individual on the planet whose name also, thankfully, eludes me.

EDIT: Damn you, cat-killing curiousity. Michael Damian, which sounds like something that spawned in the third circle of Tiger Beat hell. He was also a soap opera actor. Of course he was.

Does Tiger Beat even exist anymore? I read it as a pre-teen. If I read it now, it would be Cougar Beat. :(

So sometimes I wish someone would discover my blog and be like, "Ho!* This woman is truly the Voice of Our Times (by ranting about how awful they are, because they suck!) I must shout her message from the mountaintops, verily!" What would mountaintops be today? Twitter? *INSERT RANT* And no, I don't know what verily means. IT SOUNDED PRETTY OK.

*Ho! as in, Land ho! Not... yeah.

Anyway. Even if I knew how to pimp out my blog I wouldn't because eww, and it would open me up to People's Opinions on the Internet, which I believe we've established spawn right in Satan's underpants. And you know he wears a slightly too small black satin thong. You know he does. And no one will ever tell him how awful it looks because OW I'M ON FIRE.

So there's that.

Friday, November 01, 2013

And while we're on the subject... I look at my past posts about bad music and weep. Cause I had NO IDEA just how bad it was gonna get. Here I was ranting about that bratty chick whose name I've already forgotten while somewhere, Miley Cyrus was fermenting. Oh, the sweet days of innocence... six months ago. I officially hate tongues now. She has made me loathe not just her and the current state of pop music, but an entire part of the human body. Now that's impressive.
Well, somebody has to be the 50s.

You Are the 1950s

You are a conventional, traditional, and responsible person. You try to live a good life.

You appreciate the simpler days of the 1950s, when hard work and family were valued.

You believe in doing your best, even if you aren't rewarded right away. Being a moral person is its own reward.

You don't like to rock the boat too much. You like your life as it is and aren't looking to change it.

Yes the fabulous 50s, when people could still eat nuts, and bread, and pretty much everything else. No one twerked, and if they did, they went STRAIGHT TO HELL. (Wouldn't hell really just be a stage full of people twerking, anyway? And maybe some flames?) I'm not really "conventional" but... yes. YES. "Being a moral person is its own reward". YES! What, exactly, happened to that?

On the subject of tradition... probably my favourite author, Joshilyn Jackson, wrote about real books vs ebooks, and how real books have a smell and feel, and I'm like YES, someone else gets it, it's not just me! And an author I adore, to boot! Sometimes life makes sense. Not that there's anything wrong with ebooks. I mean, whatever gets people reading instead of, idk... twerking? sexting? is a-ok* with me. But still. Y'know. Books. They have souls. You can't tell me a book doesn't have more of a soul than say, Miley Cyrus. (Yes, even Twilight.)

Here is what she wrote: "They are here and made of fresh paper and they exist. THEY SMELL GOOD. They smell like real true books. I know so many of you have converted to the one true church of e-book, and fine! More power to you! But OH, I love the book as CONCRETE NOUN."

*hugs quote tight* I'm not alone... there's no place like home.

*Probably only people from the 50s still say "a-ok." I am a-ok with that.